Dan York

Of Surviving Breast Cancer... And The Choices Therein

Eleven days ago, on a Friday morning, my wife got to add a new title to her list of life accomplishments:

Survivor

Her excellent surgeon called from the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Norris Cotton Cancer Center up in Lebanon, NH, to share the good news that there was no sign of cancer in the "sentinel lymph node" they had taken - and that indicates to them that there is a very high probability that the cancer did not spread to other parts of her body.

The joy at that news was tempered somewhat by the fact that the cancer in her left breast was found to be not simply "Stage 0 DCIS" as in her original diagnosis... some of it had morphed into "Stage 1 Invasive Breast Cancer" and she had a very small lump forming outside the ducts.

In a year or 2 or 3, this could have been much, MUCH worse.

We give thanks now for the persistence of Dr. Luthra at the Cheshire Medical Center and his dogged determination to get to the bottom of whatever was causing the changes in my wife's breast. It would have been easier to just dismiss it... but we definitely have him to thank for pursuing it until it was indeed found to be cancer.[1]

With the discovery of invasive breast cancer, my wife next will meet with an oncologist to go over options... and whether she needs to take some of the various medications that are out there to help reduce the chances of the cancer's return.

You see, we've learned that you don't really "survive" breast cancer as much as you "learn to live with it".

Unlike some of the other cancers that really can be completely removed or go into long-term remission, breast cancer seems to lurk inside. It can even return in the scar resulting from the mastectomy.

You survive a battle... but the war goes on.

And winning this one battle was not without sacrifice - my wife made the difficult choice to have a double mastectomy, in large part because with basically no sign of an issue in the one breast she didn't want to live in fear of any issue in the other breast. She chose not to undergo any of the reconstruction options, although she always has that option at some later date.[2]

Her surgery was on Friday, July 1 ... it is a crazy sign of the times that mastectomies are now so routine that it was day surgery and she was back at home that night. The first week was complete hell between the pain, the drains and all the side effects of the narcotics medication. But we were blessed to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends who helped out in so many ways from watching our 2 girls, providing many meals and doing so many other things. It's been truly wonderful to have this community around us and helping us.

Fast forward 18 days to today and my strong (and not very patient) wife is up and around... going for a 4-mile walk every day... and planning to walk the NH/VT Susan G. Komen 5K Race for the Cure over in Manchester, VT, on this coming Saturday, July 23rd! (I'm joining her in running the race.)

She still can't lift our 2-year-old daughter (or other heavy objects) and her range of motion is still limited... but each day gets a little bit better and better... she's on her way back!

And she survived at least the first battle with this unwelcome guest that intruded into our lives...

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[1] Sadly for others in our area, Dr. Luthra has now moved on to a hospital down in the Philadelphia or Baltimore area to purse further education/research.

[2] An entire other post could be written on the topic of breast reconstruction and all the options - and tradeoffs...

Image credit: hygienematters on Flickr

When The "1 in 8 Women" Stat Hits Home...

A fascinating aspect about being as open as we have been about my wife's breast cancer is that you learn this:

Breast cancer really impacts a LARGE number of people.

It's one thing to hear a statistic like:

1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their lifetime

But it's a completely different thing when that "1 in 8" stat is brought home by the sheer number of people in your own life who turn out to be affected by breast cancer.

In the few weeks I've been public about it, I've had many friends and colleagues come forward and tell me that they or their spouse either have dealt with breast cancer in recent years or are currently dealing with it. Multiple colleagues from Voxeo... friends from IETF and SIP Forum... colleagues from former employers... friends from social media circles... and many folks on Facebook, Twitter and more...

It's truly been amazing to experience (and has been greatly appreciated, as well).

"1 in 8" may not immediately sound like much... but when you start thinking of how many women you know, it turns out to be a pretty significant number...

Of Inverted Nipples... and Breast Cancer

I've learned a lot about breasts lately. More than any guy really wants to know... and not in a good way.

We of the male gender generally have a rather simplistic view of female breasts. (Some/most women may consider it a "juvenile" view in some/most/all men.) We may enjoy looking at breasts... in various states of dress or undress. We may want to touch them... or fantasize about that... or... or...

But I'm pretty sure that outside of those in the medical profession the vast majority of men don't really want to know how breasts are put together... about the plumbing inside of them.

Classify that in the "Too Much Information" category and stick it in that folder with all those other aspects of female biology about which we really have no clue.

I'm learning, though... all about lobules and ducts and lymph nodes and so much more. Not by choice. Two weeks ago I added a new term to my vocabulary: Ductal Carcinoma In Situ, a.k.a. DCIS. As a bonus, I learned the correct way to pronounce "In Situ" (at least, the way one doctor said it)... but that was really the only bonus I got that day.

My wife was diagnosed with very early stage DCIS in one breast. It appears to be "non-invasive" from the biopsy and at this point the good news is that there seems little danger of it being life-threatening. Today.

Cancer. My wife.

And so life was thrown into a chaotic holding pattern that will unfortunately continue for at least two more weeks until we meet with her next team of doctors up at the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Norris Cotton Cancer Center to understand the next steps in her specific process... and when that will all occur. Meanwhile, they've sent us DVDs for what will surely be an über-exciting "date night"... and booklets that dive into deep detail. And of course, there's the glorious Internet... which is sometimes helpful... and sometimes NOT.

Along the way, I've also learned that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their lifetime and a hundred other stats that I didn't know.

I'm writing this in part because writing is what I do... it's how my brain works... it's how I deal with things. And also, if any of you wonder perhaps why I may not be as focused on some projects (like, oh, restarting VOIPSA, or helping launch the SIP Forum's IPv6 SIG) or as excited to jump into something new ... or why I'm not traveling to events much lately... my priorities have drastically changed a bit for this next while.

I'm also writing this to let my female friends and readers (and their male companions) know about the way in which my wife's breast cancer was found.

She didn't have a "lump". It did not show up on a mammogram... nor on a follow-up ultrasound of her breast. There is no family history of breast cancer. She has none of the other indicators for cancer. She's in fact in the best physical condition she's been in for years.

There was only one sign... and one that she didn't really think was significant.

She had an inverted nipple.

Instead of pointing outward as nipples usually do, this one started withdrawing in upon itself.

It changed.

My wife just casually mentioned the change in her annual checkup a few months ago when the physician asked that standard question to which they probably don't expect an answer: "anything else you've noticed unusual?"

The physician thought it was probably nothing, too, but said it should be looked at... which led to several months of testing, a horrid course of super-strong antibiotics (to see if an infection was causing it) and eventually multiple MRI scans (including a "MRI-driven biopsy") where the cancer was detected and confirmed.

An inverted nipple.

That was it. The only sign. And one that could have been easily overlooked.

Since that time, naturally, we've found various articles that mention this as a potential symptom of breast cancer... but it was certainly one that neither of us, nor anyone we've mentioned it to yet, knew about.

So, should you (or your female companion if you are male) ever notice a change like this... get it checked out. It may be absolutely nothing. Or it may be something more serious.

Meanwhile, life here continues in a holding pattern while we wait to understand what lies ahead in her specific case...

Image credit: hygienematters on Flickr